They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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