I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
