oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
