he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
