dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
