I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
