McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
