Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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