So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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