yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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