yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
