so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
