better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So vagazzling was a success
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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