I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
