Your dad touched me again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We are two peas in an std pod
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
