so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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