so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just pee around me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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