omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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