i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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