I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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