just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
