and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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