I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
