Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She bit a glass in half.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
