Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
