fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
