i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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