I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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