playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
