Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
