hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
