i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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