How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize