I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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