I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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