bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
