i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
