But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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