I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize