My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
