Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
