You really coming over, don't trick.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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