ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
