I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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