HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's rum buckets o'clock
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
