Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
