I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
