I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
