If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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