Quick, to the slutcave!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
the liver wants what the liver wants
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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