Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
