they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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