After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
