Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
