listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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