he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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