1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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