In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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