Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
