Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
