vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
