It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I CAN MOONWALK!
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
In America we eat man semen.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
