What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
