what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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