a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize