How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
